A day in Life

thoughts about boys & girls

2009-05-21T21:19:00.000-07:00

God created us so differently. boys and girls look at the same problem and go:
BOY: "Hmmm...let's see how do we solve this?"
GIRL: "Oh...let's see how we get you feeling better."

This whole difference in thinking has caused many disappointments, heartaches and unnecessary sadness. seems like there's no real cure for this except i don't know...tolerance?

easier said than done. it's so difficult to be tolerant when it's about something so opposite. such thinking is so opposite from each other.

1 Pet 3:7 says, "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered."

i really wonder why God wrote it in such a way. dwell with understanding. He must've known our differences. yet He still made us compatible. in the great mystery which is our God, he made us compatible yet completely different. i don't know how to deal with that! how to be compatible yet different!

and there's this thing about dating. how much of yourself should you reveal or show and not scare the other party away?
ie. reveal too much, scare other party away.
reveal too little, other party doesn't know you.
Courtship is about discovering the person and seeing if the person is who you wanna marry. if so, is revealing too much a bad thing? i mean...you do need to know who're marrying before you marry. imagine after marriage if you didn't know the person! but then again, we do need to guard our hearts.
I know, i believe the answer is to do it over time. open up over time, reveal bit by bit, allow the person time to accept these issues.

i don't know why we're like that. we can't seem to understand each other. everything i say doesn't seem to come out right. everything i do seems to be the direct opposite of how its supposed to be. i'm scared. i don't wanna lose you. i think if we go on like this, we'll end up apart. that's scary.
I love you.

revive.

2009-05-21T21:17:00.000-07:00

Haven't posted in far too long! think i'll use this blog to convey thoughts and feelings. think i need an outlet. :\

i just hope this doesn't become one of those emo blogs with all that sadness. i still want this blog to provide hope for people. :)

Be still and know that I am God.

2008-07-03T08:51:00.000-07:00

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God!"

Lord God, i will put my trust in You, the maker of heaven and earth. Because my heart is confident in You. For Your unfailing love is as high as the heavens. Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. Be exalted, O God, above the highest of heavens and may Your glory shine over all the earth.
I don't know what to do, and i don't know what to expect but i know that if i trust You, You will make the impossible possibe.
Amen.

Psalm 139, Psalm 57:7-11, Psalm 56:8 and Psalm 46:10
Encourage yourself in the Lord!

God's love

2008-06-23T20:25:00.001-07:00

Nothing you can do, can make Him love you more and nothing that you've done will ever make Him close the door.

Compromise

2008-06-01T22:43:00.001-07:00

Will i compromise on my promises and plans?

Jesus knows you!

2008-05-05T20:33:00.003-07:00

The greatest blessing in this world, is not knowing Jesus.
It's whether Jesus knows you.
are you saved?

The generation

2008-04-10T21:03:00.001-07:00

Let's be the generation who will take our place.

Father of Faith

2008-04-05T00:14:00.001-07:00

Faith is probably the greatest attribute that keeps my mind pondering.
Does Faith = self confidence?
Does having faith means having a self-fulfilling prophecy?
Believing in something so much that you subconsciously achieve it by your own means.

WELL, Hebrews 11:1 says," Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
This means trusting in God (something we cannot see) with everything we've got. I believe this is faith. Godly faith that is.

And i find this most hard to do. Trusting in the invisible is so difficult. But yet God still asks me to trust Him. I know that trusting Him would yield much results. I know that. But time and again, i find myself doubting this very faith.

gone, going, gone!

2008-03-25T21:02:00.000-07:00

Suddenly, i realised all my friends are leaving Singapore. People whom i've within the past 2-3 years established quite a close friendship. And although i don't show it very much, i am sad. Really bummed that i never got to know these people any better. i mean sure we're good friends and all but i just feel i could've spent an extra more time with them. i'm sad. :(

"What is your generation? is it the people who are the same age as you, or is it the people who grow up with you?"

I keep asking myself these questions and i really don't know.

If we would only keep our eyes on the goal

2008-02-22T00:56:00.002-08:00

If we can only keep our eyes fixed on the goal at the end of the line. The prize of this long and tedious race of life.
This race of life. The one that is filled with "what-ifs" and "whys". Let's stop asking why because i believe the prize we get at the end will more than answer our queries of life. Instead let's have faith and trust that He will carry us through no matter what.

"Mummy, how did dinosaurs come about?"
"Why don't you ask God!"
"Mummy, why is the earth so big?"
"Why don't you ask God!"
"Mummy, why does humanity have to suffer pain and anguish?"
"Again, why don't you ask God!"

If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulder, i know that He can and will carry you.

Remember that you forgot

2008-02-13T07:59:00.000-08:00

Have you ever woke up and remembered that you forgot?
Let me elaborate.
Every morning when i wake up, i always get this feeling that i forgot something. and sure enough, i did.

Work at play, play at work.

This life makes no sense without a capital G.

If it makes you less sad

2008-02-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

I'll grow old and start acting my age. I'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate. A crown of gold, a heart thats harder than stone but it hurts a whole lot and its missed when its gone.

You are calm and reposed, let your beauty unfold. Pale white like the skin stretched over your bones. Spring keeps you ever close, you are second hand smoke. You are so fragile and thin, standing trial for your sins. Holding on to yourself the best you can. You are the smell before rain, you are the blood in my veins.

I'm saturated

2008-01-01T21:43:00.001-08:00

I cannot think anymore!
I need inspiration!

The world's view...

2007-12-29T23:17:00.000-08:00

You are Loved(Don't give up) - Josh Groban

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy
I...I will lift it for you

Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I...I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside
I...I will be there to find you

Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I...I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

You are loved
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
Don't give up
Every one needs to be heard
You are loved

This song reminds me of God's love. Strangely. How He loves us.

holiday or holinsane?

2007-12-26T23:05:00.000-08:00

The past few week have been really hectic for me. Haven't been able to do anything. Rushing from point A to B, assignment after assignment. Life is such a monotony of things to do.

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Lord i'm waiting on you, renew my strength.

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead,
If you could only ...

Love...actually...scary!?

2007-12-13T08:01:00.000-08:00

There are many things that i'd like to say to you
but i don't know how.

Worthy is The Lamb

2007-12-11T06:47:00.002-08:00

Thank you for the cross, Lord
Thank you for the price You paid
Bearing all my sin and shame
In love You came
And gave amazing grace

Thank you for this love, Lord
Thank you for the nail pierced hands
Washed me in Your cleansing flow
Now all I know
Your forgiveness and embrace

Worthy is the Lamb
Seated on the throne
Crown You now with many crowns
You reign victorious

High and lifted up
Jesus Son of God
The Darling of Heaven crucified
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb

Thou art worthy.
This song really ministered to me. Jesus, the lamb. Sacrificed. Lambs are of such a meek nature and it's such an apt description of Jesus. The Lamb groomed from day one for the slaughter house. Oh how worthy you are. I'm really at a loss for words.

back from camp!

2007-12-10T01:15:00.000-08:00

just came back from camp last night. Had a smashing good time! I especially liked the word part of the camp. Really really spoke to me. Ps Glenn is someone i could relate to. Anyways, i felt this camp was significantly different. Apart from the fact that it catered to a wide spectrum of age groups, this time, there was a whole different atmosphere. Like..just different. I guess you could say there was a stronger presence of God. As yes! i honestly felt a very strong presence hovering throughout the camp. Yeah. I guess that's it! But all good things must come to an end and it's back to studying.

Today, i made a covenant
To stand up and make a difference
To be different
To lead and not follow

don't you find it hard to write words for a song when they don't mean a thing?

it's been awhile but it's been worth it!

2007-11-22T01:49:00.000-08:00

greetings to one and all! i'm blogging with my phone. new phone see. well where do I start. so so so much has happened since I last blogged. ok. first things first. i'm legal now! right. not like i'm gonna paint the town red or anything but it's really a milestone for me. been pretty busy with everything. projects and assignments have been piling up. I think I need a personal assistant. hard to manage my time man. church work hs been good too. I 've always believed if you enjoy wht you're doing, passion in other words, you'll do it well. and I enjoy church. way more than school I tell you. but for what, that is stil very much a mystery. i'd say it's both God and friends but I don't know which one more. right so I know the model answer. but how do you actually do it! that's tough. humans are afterall creatures that crave companionship. and friends just seem to fill the temporal void. that said, there's still the God shaped hole that only He can fill. sometimes I wonder how people actualy make it to 50 without God. life is so tough even with God's help. i've been trying to reach out to this good friend of mine. he backslided a long time ago. but I just know he'll come back. till then, I will always be praying for him. alrighty then! i'll end off here. do expect more now that it's so convenient to blog :)

I need a God-filled life!

2007-05-14T10:01:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking bout stuff lately, stuff going on in my life and stuff going to happen and stuff that has already happened. And i've got to say there's been a divine hand guiding me all along! Some call it destiny/fate. I'll prefer God's guidance and Plan for my life. He's always been there. Through my Ups and my Downs. Just that, i need to listen closely to him. We all do. He's the still small voice waiting, crying out to us. If we'd only listen.

I've been spending much too little time with God. So much so that i feel i've drifted far from Him! Although i know He's so near. Oh well. Contradictory huh. OK! i think i need to make a decision, a promise, a covenant or however you wanna call it. And commit myself to at least spending time with God 3 times a week!(I've gotta start small right!) That way, my relationship with Him will be healthy!

On a much much heavier note, my grand-dad's not doing too well. He's been battling cancer for awhile and now it's pretty much spread to his whole body, final stage. Pains me to see him in such a state. So guys and girls, please pray for him whenever you can? Let's petition this to heaven through our prayers! God will make my grand-daddy whole again! Amen!

Apart from this, God's been really good to me. Today, i picked up 4 dollars! small sum i know but it's been awhile since i've picked money! hehe. Thank God! =D School's been good. I've only got school for 3 days per week this semester. Totally awesome. And yeh. God is and will always be Good! =)

So, Cheerio to James and everyone reading. =)

Call to return

2007-05-11T20:49:00.000-07:00

I woke up today with such a strong presence of God in my room. The feeling was so wonderful. Like the whole room was warm although the air-con was turned down to 17 deg. I believe God was in my room and especially strong because through the night, he revealed to me what i though would be a likely future. This was how the dream went. I was in what seemed like an old hospital building. I was hiding. Well the reason was, just outside the window, there was an army, a horde, a massive amount of people, uncountable. They were divided into 4 contingents. Each a different colour.(Blue, green, red, yellow) Their leader was someone dark. someone scary. Someone i call the anti-christ. What i saw was a likely future. A future where the world was a dark dark place to live in. Christians that were left behind, were being hunted down one by one and put to the gallows. In the dream, i was one of those left behind. I was running. Throughout the whole dream i was running. Up and down endless stairways. The dream felt so real. Yet once i woke up, an immediate sense of peace came over me. I felt i had to tell someone! So i told my dad. He told me that sometimes God reveals stuff to us so that we can share it to people who need it. Like a timely divine reminder. So i urge everyone who's reading this. Do a check on your life. See if there's any area that's displeasing to God, seek his forgiveness, renew your covenent with Him. Live your life for him once again. Return to Your First Love. My dad also told me that God reveals things because He loves us. Not to condemn but to bring us back to Him. My prayer is that none of us. None of my friends reading this would ever have to face the horror of being left behind. Return to God this day. =)

the feeling of feeling

2007-04-09T09:56:00.000-07:00

yes. the reason for the title is today on the bus journey home, i saw a lady picking her nose. i wonder how is it possible to do such an obscene thing in public! but strangest of things happened and my nose started to itch. so yep. you guessed it the feeling of disgust turned to pure enjoyment! =D ok. this is a sick thing to write about. don't remember it.

Prettiest friend by Jason Mraz

this is what I look like today
and I’m trying not to pull out my hair
I’m trying not to show it cause I’m far too shy to grow it back there
that's probably why I like wearing hats
there's no denying I’m deferring the facts
avoiding confrontation
lacks tact in a situation
behind every line is a lesson yet to learn
but if you ask me
the feeling that I’m feeling is overwhelming
and oh it goes to show
I’ve so much to know
I wrote this for my prettiest friend
who while trying not to prove that I care
trying not to make all my moves in one motion and scare her away
well she can't see she's making me crazy now
I don't believe she knows she's amazing how
she has me holding my breathe
so I’d never guess that I’m a none such unsuitable, suitable for her
but if you ask me
the feeling that I’m feeling is complimentary
and oh it goes to show
the moral of the story is boy loves girl
and so on the way that it unfolds is yet to be told
I know that I should be brave
even pretty can be seen by the blind
I know that I cannot wait
until the day we finally learn how to find each other
redefining open minds
and if you ask me
the feeling that I’m feeling is overjoyed
and it's golden, it goes to show then
the ending of this song should be left alone
and so on cause the way it unfolds is yet to be told

This song has been stuck in my head. maybe because on the first line, he talks about wearing a hat all the time. Obviously reminding me about...me! awesome song with awesome lyrics.

I pray and i pray and i pray. God will answer. Amen. :)

Growing up

2007-04-05T02:11:00.000-07:00

when i was young, i always wanted to be an artist. Then it was to be a pilot. A slowly, reality found me and now i've actually lost sight of what i want to be when i'm of age. Honestly speaking, i really don't want to grow any older than i am now. Life's better being 18. Not that many worries, problems or actions that need to be taken. I guess this is a process of life. Like a phase. Growing up is such a chore.

Herbal chicken with curry powder?

2007-04-03T09:48:00.000-07:00

Yes. That was what Sam did with his leftovers. Makes you think how interesting food preparations can really be huh! Well, i personally feel it will be very distasteful especially with sucha weird combination of sorts. But apparently it's good. Righteous man. Righteous.

Haven't had time to blog. Ok. I think i'm getting lazy. I mean who wouldn't! It's a blog for pete's sake! Anyways, so many things have happened over the past few days that all i can say is God is the Only One who will put a smile on my face. :) Life's been pretty boring. Although what my pastor said on sunday really made sense. Youths should not ever be bored! But it's so hard since everyone is in such a hurry to grow up and move on, no one really has anymore time for fun and laughter! Rather at least the majority(Whether by choice or default!). I've been so free i think i'm going nuts! Peanuts to be exact! MOVIES ANYONE!? I think i should take this time to realign myself with God again. Start re-wiring and all. God give me the faith to find You. Amen.

Went jamming today. The voice's been doing pretty good after much nourishment from the honey water and luo han guo. I think i should start taking care of it if i really wanna continue singing. Managed to record a couple of songs though. Yellow and Chasing Cars to be exact. Hopefully we'll just keep getting better at this! Even so, Lord, guide me in this for Your pleasure and Glory. Amen.

Lately i've been pretty dissatisfied with life. It's getting way too routine man. Really. I think i've gotta be more adventurous! Like you know, overnight cycling once again. Fishing. Stuff that i haven't done in a long long time! I really think i should re-connect with the adventurous side of me again man.

Well, God's been pretty good with keeping me through my struggles in life. I gotta say all glory to Him man. Thank You Dad! :)

Songs for the day: Blue eyes blue, Wonderful tonight, Change the world - Eric Clapton, Yellow - Coldplay, World - Five For Fighting, Majesty - Delirious?, Blessed be Your Name - Matt Redman.

Afraid of change?

2007-03-30T11:49:00.000-07:00

This was the word that hit me. Afraid of change? Afraid to venture into the unknown? Into oblivion? Out of your comfort zone? Out of the familiar? This is what i've been asking myself. If God wants me to go somewhere else, do something else, STEP OUTTA MY COMFORT ZONE, will i be able to do it? Life's full of surprises. Take the next corner and you'll never know where you'd end up. I guess, none of us wants to live a life of mystery. At least not me. So i think, if God really really really wants me to move, i'll always keep in mind Jer 29:11 and trust Him with all that i have. Big Daddy God, I know the plans that You have for me. And i know You know what's best. So God, reveal to me Your Eternal Plan for my life so that i'll take the right steps in You. Amen. :)

Today's been a pretty good day. Actually, more of a hungry day. You see, i'm on fast every friday. And i'm telling you, it's no fun. This really ignites the thought of how in the world did Jesus do it, 40 days!? I'm so tempted to think that because He's the Son Of God that He was able to accomplish such a mind-boggling task. Contrary to that, He was God's Son in a humanoid form, subjected to the everyday temptations, trials and tests. So obviously, He had a lot of discipline to carry out the task at hand which was fasting diligently. Jesus. What a wonder of a man. :) I pray so so hard that i'll become more and more like Him as my life unfolds. Anyways, broke fast at 6 pm. I'm telling you. Good ol' donuts really tasted like manna from heaven man. Actually, i ate so much after that fast, i feel really guilty bout it all! Oh well, i guess fasting has its rewards. Jesus, I pray that you'll uphold me through my fasting and help to reach the ultimate goal of being sanctified for Your Glory. Amen. :) Played pool with Kahwan and Sam from 4 pm - 6 pm. Food is a driving force. Without it, i was seriously drained and had a hard time playing. But oh well, its for the love of the game and not competition. Went for central equipping in the evening till bout 10. Bill Johnson spoke through a video. Spoke on the spiritual language. Thank You Lord for being so wonderfully special in the way You speak to us. :) Thank You Lord for answering my prayer. Amen! OH! and today was Uncle KK's birthday. Happy Birthday Uncle! Uncle KK has really been a source of strength for me, always being that pillar of support when i needed one. :) Had supper with him and the rest which was promptly followed by countless games of bridge till bout 2 am. Really had loads of fun today. Though i really think i need to get my lazy bones moving and start asking people out! Staying at home all day ain't a good way to spend my holidays!

Tomorrow's gonna be a long long day man. Got worship prac at 1. Songs to be played are Hosanna, For a thousand tongues to sing, Heart of worship and lastly with all i am. I'm really not too sure how's it all gonna be. Considering this is my very first time playing! Woo-hoo! I pray that i'll bring Glory to God above. Thank You Lord for the talent. :) Starting at 8, i'll be playing at White Tangerine, Paya Lebar Kovan CC. Please do come down! And bring your support with you! Good Night! :) May the Good Lord God bless each and everyone of you.

Songs for the day: Sleeping to dream - Jason Mraz, Belle - Jack Johnson, Hosanna - Paul Baloche, Surrender - Hillsong, Thank You Lord - Paul Baloche.

Plans and purposes

2007-03-29T10:16:00.000-07:00

ok. I'm gonna start blogging. Although i always thought this was downright stupid and the kind of things you don't keep after awhile(probably gonna happen with me), but still i think this is the only way i can ever pen down the thoughts constantly floating around in my head and keeping me up all night. righteous. HERE WE GO THEN!
So i guess i'm gonna have to introduce myself. right. I'm James, 17 and going on to 18 this year. Currently studying at Temasek Polytechnic where i am doing a diploma in Hospitality and Tourism. Although, i don't really like the course. After this, i'll wanna do a degree in mass communications. A passion really. ok. about me. I'm an outgoing person. Rather friendly if you ask the guy in the mirror. Although, like they say, the happiest people are also the saddest. Or if you might, what's on the outside is not always the same as the inside! I'm a person who really bottles everything up.(Hence this blog!) Well mainly because, i think the world has got its share of problems and it doesn't need another to further add on! so i'm contented keeping everything in. Although sometimes, you know, well, it gets too much! That's when i try my very best to turn to God. Like pray and pray and pray till i feel better. Friends also help ease the burden. True blue bros whom i know will stick by me till the end of this life and onto the next where we'll all stand hand in hand praising the awesomeness that is our Father. I guess as this blog progresses, you'll be able to find out a lil more about me.

OK! Well today was another bumming day for me. But i came across a really good book. A legacy for my sons. Awesome awesome awesome. It talks about how one man, being too busy for his sons, decides to write a book, a letter if you will, to his sons. Teaching them the lessons in life. I wouldn't consider this a christian book although there are plenty of biblical referencing. Overall, a must-have for the journey of life! What really grabbed my attention was the chapter on pretty ladies/marriage. It says that never choose a pretty lady for a wife, for vanity and beauty do not last forever. On one hand, i've gotta agree with the statement as vanity and beauty really do not last! Just look at people like the rolling stones. On the other, what if The One is pretty?? I mean what if the lady you are destined to be with is someone with the likes of Jennifer Aniston? This just blows me away. The writer then goes on to say that Proverbs 31 would give the answer to a perfect wife. This i gotta agree with. Although some of the criteria in this chapter really seem impossible to have.(A WIFE WHO CAN SEW!?) A women who is God fearing and truely loves The Maker above all else, is truely the most beautiful thing she can ever possess. So God i sincerely pray that You send me a women after Your Heart.
In the evening, everyone went to Tung Ling's graduation ceremony. Joanne, Lynn Ern and Jolene were graduating from a 12-week course. Just thinking about this daunting of waking up early in the morning for 12 weeks seems hard to me already. Much less go for classes like back in secondary school! So really, PROPS TO THE 3 LADIES WHO SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED! and congratulation! Anyways, the theme of Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you", declares The Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." I feel that God has been trying to communicate this verse to me and this was kinda like a quadruple confirmation for me! Thank You God Almighty. :) The food was good. As usual, me being a food connoisseur(by my own standards), really enjoyed the sausage-on-a-stick-wrapped-in-bacon thing. Marvelous stuff. Well going home was a problem. You see, there were like 278 of us(ok. exaggeration. there were only bout 12-15 of us really.) and we had a hard time splitting people up! well in my own opinion that is. In the end, most of us took the bus back which was cool since i got to save some cash! Although i feel really bad that Sam had to go back with Beatrice and all. Not that it's bad or anything! but still, i don't know man. Just feel real bad. :( Had a nice chat with Joel after that, talked bout life as usual. :) Always a pleasure to converse with him(Any of my bros for that matter.) I guess life has so much in store for me that the only way i'm ever gonna "get-along" is to really trust 100% in My Father and the plans that He has for my life. :) Good night and sweet dreams to those who are reading.

Songs for the day: Broken - Jack Johnson, Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson, Hosanna - Paul Baloche, Majesty - Delirious